fortunately / unfortunately

Does anyone else remember this book? I can’t remember my own children’s names sometimes but for some reason I remember this book really well. Here’s the publisher’s overview:

Fortunately, Ned was invited to a surprise party.

Unfortunately, the party was a thousand miles away.

Fortunately, a friend loaned Ned an airplane.

Unfortunately, the motor exploded.

Fortunately, there was a parachute in the airplane.

Unfortunately, there was a hole in the parachute.

What else could go wrong as Ned tries to get to the party? Readers will cheer as Ned’s luck turns from good to bad to good again, while clever illustrations tell the story of his wacky adventure and narrow escapes.

In the spirit of Fortunately, here’s how our day has gone so far.

Fortunately, we were all delighted to discover it was rainy and chilly this morning (real fall, not faux fall!). Unfortunately, the car didn’t start when it was time to take Girl Powers to preschool.

Fortunately, we have roadside assistance. Unfortunately, it took them an hour to get to our house.

Fortunately, this meant that Boy Powers got in a quick morning nap. Unfortunately, I had to wake him up from said nap when the car had been jump-started:

Fortunately, Girl Powers made it to school in time for orange-themed show-and-tell. Unfortunately, Boy Powers’s and my library story time playdate got canceled at the last minute and we were left with a 90-minute window in which I did not want to go home and had no backup outings planned.

Fortunately, grocery shopping with only one child is a perverted kind of treat. Unfortunately, Boy Powers spent the entire time rubbing his half-eaten free cookie along the cart handles and then sticking it back in his mouth. Also unfortunately, he has not had a flu shot yet.

Fortunately, the car started when we left the grocery store. Unfortunately, we STILL had 30 minutes to kill before picking up Girl Powers.

Fortunately, we had a fabulous time enjoying the weather at a nearby park.

(Unfortunately, I have zero shame about taking my children out in public with their face looking like it just lost a cage fight with high-fructose corn syrup.)

(Fortunately, I do occasionally remember to use a wet wipe to remove the evidence of 10am chocolate chip cookies.)

Unfortunately, THE CAR WOULDN’T START when it came time to get Girl Powers at school.

Fortunately this park has a big maintenance center where there were tons of trucks and workers, any one of whom could quickly give us a jump. Unfortunately, it did not occur to me to ask them.

Fortunately, I am extremely zen when things like this happen and did not place a f-bomb-laden phone call to my husband in earshot of a dozen children. Unfortunately, that last sentence is 100% untrue.

Fortunately, it was still a beautiful day, Girl Powers’s school was happy to accomodate her for lunch, and – you remember this part, right? – we have roadside assistance. Unfortunately, it took them 45 minutes to get there.

Fortunately, I took this photograph:

Unfortunately, I do not have time to edit the picture to hide the fact that I desperately need a pedicure.

Fortunately, I had plenty of snacks in the car since we had just been to the store. Unfortunately, I also had a gallon of milk in the car.

Fortunately, I am capable of inventing new lyrics to pretty much any song in the entire world, so that came in handy for 20 minutes or so of our wait at the park. Unfortunately, we still had 15 more minutes to wait.

Fortunately, the roadside assistance guy arrived 10 minutes after I had lost just as I was losing my ever-loving mind. Unfortunately – and I kid you not here – he said to me: “Fortunately, it’s a nice day to be stuck outside waiting for a jump.”

The End.

PS Fortunately, I have this memory of my grandma (who reads this blog!) reading Fortunately to my brother and me. Unfortunately, this photo, circa 1985, appears not to be of that exact moment. Fortunately, it’s awesome anyway.

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5 Responses to fortunately / unfortunately

  1. Jay October 6, 2011 at 4:45 pm #

    “Unfortunately, that last sentence is 100% untrue.” hahaha

  2. Angela Reier October 7, 2011 at 6:04 am #

    The F-Bomb call makes you human, the picture of Reid makes the whole escapade worth it (pedi or not).

  3. Nicole October 7, 2011 at 7:06 am #

    I use that book in Teaching of Writing with my MA students! I suggest having them use it with their students as a fun and light way into writing about literature- Fortunately, Gertrude and Claudius were in love. Unfortunately, Gertrude used to be married to Claudius’ brother. Fortunately, Hamlet gets a visit from his father. Unfortunately, Hamlet’s father is dead and unfortunately, Hamlet’s father wants him to kill Claudius… etc etc. Usually it leads to hilarity. It has also become a way that I write emails and departmental memos… I’m not sure whether I should be proud of that or not…

  4. Brian Wysel October 7, 2011 at 8:01 am #

    Is that a giant jug of wine on the bar? Grandma and grandpa didn’t mess around when it came to happy hour.

    • Sarah October 7, 2011 at 8:27 am #

      O M G you are so right. Awesome.

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