Maybe She’s Born With It (But I’m Not)

Dear Maybelline:

Please tell me that I have not been imagining this. Your Lash Discovery mascara appears to be disappearing from drugstore shelves everywhere. I can tell by the clearance markdowns and dwindling color choices that its future is not bright. Don’t mind the fact that I have used this product for more than ten years, that I have personally been responsible for at LEAST three other people switching mascaras to this one, or that I even brought it to the salon when I had my make-up professionally done on my own wedding day so that the make-up artist could use it and not her $40/tube pro stuff.

The thing is, Maybelline, I’m too tired to find a new mascara. A trip to the drugstore cosmetics aisle once offered limitless possibilities of creative self-expression. Now I’d be lucky to make it to the checkout line before the baby ate the packaging and the other one figured out how to open the mascara and stab herself in the eye with it.

All I’m asking is for a little more time. If in fact Lash Discovery is headed for discontinuation, please let it not be until my daughter is of mascara-wearing age (which I’m sure according to your marketing department is somewhere in the neighborhood of 8 years old) so that she can figure out what works and save me the headache.

Then again, with lashes like hers, this may not be the best plan…

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